Commencement Thoughts – Part One – Joy
June 8, 2019
June 6, 2019
Henri Nouwen wrote that “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” I agree that Joy is a conscious choice. But also sometimes Joy does simply happen to us and that was the case with Kaili. We adopted her 16 and a half years ago and it was like God had dropped a bundle of joy – and love – into our arms and lives. I know I struggle with lots of different emotions about things that have happened in my life, some of which I wrote about two years ago, but when I think of Kaili, I feel filled with joy.
This past weekend, Kaili graduated from her high school, The Emma Willard School. It was a beautiful ceremony. The head of school, Jenny Rao, did a wonderful job of honoring the graduates by mentioning each student and a characteristic about her. Of Kaili, she said she learned not just one but two musical instruments, including the harp and shared her playing with the school on many occasions – concerts, recitals, and more. Of course, it is hard to condense the achievements of any person into a few sentences, but I thought it was nice that the head of school made the Commencement about the students.
Earlier in the week, at the Honors Convocation, Kaili received the Senior English Prize. There the presenter had more time to speak about Kaili. In this case, the presenter was Kaili’s English teacher, who just so happens to be the daughter of Kaili’s pre-school teacher when Kaili was four, and at the early stages of her educational journey. Ms. Daniels, Kaili’s current teacher said the following:
——-
This was quite a tribute to Kaili and of course made my wife and me very proud of Kaili and happy that she received this recognition. Of course, I am proud of Kaili always and as I wrote earlier, she has brought so much joy into our lives.
And this past weekend was very joyful. We had family join us from Rhode Island, New Jersey and Florida. My brother Bob, the Florida visitor, came for the first time in 16 years, making it extra special. Friends from nearby also came and we were able to have a nice celebration of this milestone occasion. However, like the last 16 and a half years, the weekend seemed to speed by. Kaili occasionally asks me what super power I would like to have and if I could have one, it would be the ability to slow things down at times. I caught so many moments with my camera but there were moments I just wanted to stop and just savor for a bit longer.
One other aspect of the weekend, admittedly, was that it was a little bittersweet since our relationship with Kaili’s school and her teachers is changing and also Kaili will soon be heading off to college. I will miss the interactions with her teachers, many of whom I have gotten to know well. I also will miss taking Kaili to school and picking her up after 15 years of doing so. These rides have been a joy for me, and I wish I had more years of doing them ahead. In her elementary school years, I would try to tell her a story each day on the way to school. We invented characters and plot lines, and had so much fun. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was taking her to pre school and struggling with the challenge of leaving her for the first time. We made it through that and moved on to other challenges and adventures, creating lots of stories along the way, and traveling many miles too – but I will leave that for another submission.
So now we have our summer ahead ahead of us and more adventures planned – starting this week with a hike to the first Adirondack Peak we did years ago, and then a trip next week to Taiwan, where Kaili visited last year as part of a school language program. After that, I am not sure, but hopefully we can choose to be joyful and I can enjoy all the minutes we get to share with each other.
